Penalty Kill (Love on Thin Ice Book 4) Read online

  Explaining what that meant was still something Lacey needed to figure out, but she’d seen something transform beyond the obvious. More than the angry eyes, hands clenched and stiff shoulders. Maybe it was something in his eyes, but it wasn’t just the anger leaving them. There was something else there, and whatever it was, she couldn’t name it. So maybe he wasn’t back to the Vasily she was used to, but it was definitely closer.

  “You should have hit him. Then maybe he wouldn’t want to talk to Mom tomorrow. He’s going to convince her we should be with him.”

  Kevin had turned to face Vasily as well. Unlike the big man, her son was still tense and in a fighting stance.

  “And if I would’ve hit him, Kevin, how fast do you think it’d take him to call the cops? I know you know about my issues with my favorite judge. If she sees me again, she’s already promised my visa is going to be nothing more than a slip of paper.”

  “What?”

  The question was out of Lacey’s mouth before her brain even registered it. Was he serious? He couldn’t really be deported if he got in trouble again. Could he?

  Her fear had dissipated once Vasily showed up because she trusted him to handle the situation with George. The fact that she did trust him in that circumstance wasn’t something she questioned, she just knew she could. But, if it meant she almost got him kicked out of the country, she couldn’t ask him to be there the next time George showed up. Even without seeing Vasily’s face during the encounter, she knew it cost him to not throw punches.

  “It’s nothing important,” Vasily said.

  She couldn’t remember if his attention had switched to Kevin, since he was answering him, but she felt the heat of Vasily’s eyes on her as she shook her head and tried to clear it. She hadn’t turned away from him, but for a few moments there the room around her might as well have disappeared.

  “Is that why…” She couldn’t finish her thought, because she hadn’t meant to say anything.

  He had never actually pushed her to say yes to marriage, but he had told her it would happen. Did it just mean an easy way for him to clear up his citizenship status?

  No, she knew it couldn’t, which was why she caught herself before saying it all. The kids being around probably helped keep her quiet, but her brain worked it out before she even considered she was saying too much in front of them.

  A small smile quirked up the side of Vasily’s lips. If she hadn’t worked it out, her question would’ve been serious, not something to cause him to smile.

  “There are a couple of ways I can imagine that thought was going, but I promise the answer is no. The visa thing is not an issue. I’ve been on my best behavior for months now and I’ve got lawyers working on making my status here more permanent. Not that I’m planning on seeing that judge again.”

  His smile transformed into the school boy one she often wished Kevin would have. She’d seen it more recently, thanks to Vasily, but what she’d seen once George left reminded her that smiles hadn’t been a part of their life until very recently.

  “Why go through all that. Just marry Mom,” Kevin said as he pointed over to Lacey.

  Her eyes went wide as she looked at him and saw there was a slight smile on his face. What in the world was she supposed to say to that? Glancing over at Vasily was no help. The smile she loved seeing on his face was gone in an instant and he looked like a statue, not an inch of emotion playing on his face at all.

  Since neither of the adults in the room could find their tongues, Kevin decided to push the issue. She wanted to look to him to tell him at least with her eyes to drop the idea, but her eyes were stuck on the statue.

  “That’s what they do in the movies and such, right? Someone wants to stay or come to a country for good, so they find someone to marry them and then they can stay. If you guys are married, you don’t have to worry about getting kicked out of the country, and we don’t have to worry about Dad taking us to L.A.”

  He was twelve years old, what in the world movies was he watching with that in the plot? Clearly, Lacey was going to have to do a better job keeping track of what was going on during TV time.

  “It’s after midnight. I think we should all go to bed and we can continue this discussion in the morning,” Lacey said.

  If she had any hope of being able to lift Rachel and carry her up the stairs, she would’ve tried. Instead, she had to settle for scooting forward on the couch and bringing her daughter with her. Rachel whimpered, telling Lacey she’d been closer to sleep than she’d known. Rachel always got grumpy right before she fell asleep and the whimper had the distinct tone of someone who didn’t want to be disturbed.

  “That’s no fair. We need to talk about this before you meet Dad tomorrow. And I know you’re going to ship us off to school without discussing this like a family. I don’t want to move.”

  “Here, I’ll grab her,” Vasily said as he came in and swooped Rachel into his arms.

  Lacey could see the slight smile on Rachel’s lips before she snuggled her face into Vasily’s neck. That left Lacey to deal with Kevin, because not only did Vasily pick Rachel up, he started walking off towards the stairs.

  “We’re not moving, Kevin, whether Vasily and I get married or not. I can explain the specifics of that in the morning, since I think your sister needs to hear them too, but you Dad can’t make us go anywhere. I know in the past, it’s been that way, but he doesn’t have parental rights when it comes to you guys. That means-”

  Kevin cut her off before she could explain. “I know what it means, but he’s Dad. I know Vasily is the one who’s had trouble with the courts before, but when has Dad ever cared about right and wrong. You tried to get him to stay before, and he beat you up. You could barely move for weeks because he broke your ribs. That was just to get away from us. Can you imagine what he’d do if Vasily wasn’t here and you told him no?”

  Lacey went still as the words poured out of Kevin’s mouth and registered. It wasn’t just the words. The lost look and horror in his eyes took her breath away. How did he know? She’d been so careful to make sure neither of the kids knew the truth behind her injuries.

  “I fell down, Kevin.”

  The old excuse was quick to come out. She’d only ever admitted the truth to Vasily, and even though the two of them were close, she couldn’t believe he would’ve told him.

  Kevin shook his head. “Stop lying, okay? I understand why you didn’t want us to know, and Rachel doesn’t, but I do. Dad called a few months ago, and I made the mistake of answering.”

  “George called?” Lacey was so confused. Everything about the night had thrown her off.

  “Yeah,” Kevin said with a harsh laugh. “He asked about you and told me to tell you he was sorry about the ribs.”

  “But,” Lacey said as she tried to focus her thoughts. Not an easy task when they were flying around in her head faster than she could catch them. “I thought you were mad about your dad leaving. You got in fights at school about him.”

  Rolling his eyes, Kevin let out an exasperated sigh. What did he have to be exasperated about? Lacey was the one lost in the conversation.

  “Because that’s what I was supposed to do. You wanted to cover up he’s an asshole, so I did. I hate him, and the way I look at it, the only way to keep him from us is if you marry Ox. He’d never pull that crap with you. He loves you too much.”

  The slight anger from her son cursing was quickly replaced with more confusion. Was she really having this conversation?

  She put her hands on her hips, looking down the couple inches she had to in order to see her son’s eyes. When had he gotten that tall? And why hadn’t she noticed when they stood facing each other that his eyes were basically up to her nose?

  “Watch your language,” she said slowly. Out of everything he’d just said, it wasn’t the most important thing, but it was the easiest to address. “I will agree that I don’t think Vasily would ever hurt me, but he doesn’t love me. So, let’s keep the notions of us getting m
arried on the back burner for now. Like I said, it’s time for bed.”

  Pushing to get Kevin to go to sleep made more sense than trying to continue the conversation when she knew he wouldn’t understand. It wasn’t a conversation the two of them needed to have anyway. She needed to talk to Vasily and verify a few things. Before that, she couldn’t reassure Kevin that the man he seemed to see as their protector would even be there in the morning.

  Sure, Vasily had stuck around, but he already mentioned there was some kind of security out front. He usually made sure everyone was either in bed or on the way there before he left, so she didn’t see him being there any different than any other night.

  Of course, she was going to try to persuade him to stay the night, but she couldn’t guarantee he would. Not after hearing that he was one misstep away from major legal issues.

  “Fine, I’ll go to bed, but this conversation isn’t over.”

  Kevin stomped off before she could respond. No, the conversation wasn’t over, but she needed time to process when in the world her little boy had grown up. He was supposed to be twelve, not twelve going on thirty.

  “He’ll be okay once he understands we don’t have to be married for me to protect you.”

  The words shocked her enough that she jumped when she felt Vasily’s arms wrap around her. Even more shocking was what bumped into her back as he pulled her snug to his body. He didn’t bother adjusting or commenting on the fact that he was hard as a damn rock. Just feeling it pushed her to remember what he looked and felt like without his clothes on.

  So many of her dreams were filled with him that it wasn’t hard to close her eyes and remember. She could even feel the press of his lips on her neck. Her imagination was that good.

  At least she thought it was until his next words came from just beside her ear. His breath was hot against her skin.

  “I don’t want to leave tonight, Lacey.”

  His words were low, with a little extra grit than his normal cadence. She had to wonder how many times he went home in the condition he was in, and what he did to fix it. She didn’t want to think he slept with other women, and since he claimed he didn’t when the topic had come up, she had to wonder how many times he’d let it be or done something to take care of it. The image of him stroking himself came to mind before she could stop it.

  “I don’t want you to leave either, but the kids.” Her voice trailed off a little as her thoughts kept reverting to his body.

  He was too close, and evidently she’d missed him more than she wanted to admit. They’d only had the one night together, but those dreams. Those dreams warmed her every night since then.

  “I don’t mean I want to stay for sex. I just don’t want you to send me home tonight and they know we’re together. I’ll sleep on the couch if you’ll let me.”

  If he didn’t want sex, he needed to tell his lower body and his lips, because those key areas both seemed to have a different idea. She moaned softly, hopefully more in her head than out loud, as she shifted slightly to the left and then back to the right.

  “Not a good idea, lyubimaya. At least not in the middle of the living room. If you say yes, we can talk about it, but right now, I need you to tell me yes.”

  “Yes,” she whispered softly. She’d say yes to anything he said, because she knew she was in love with the man holding her. That realization hit her hard, but it was the truth. And knowing that scared her almost as much as facing off with George.

  Chapter 22

  Did Lacey just purr? Vasily understood that she said yes, but it sounded more like a kitten saying it than a human.

  She was going to be the death of him. And Vasily was okay with that.

  He could feel her need right up there with his. He was used to ignoring the pain being around her caused him. It got easier each night when he left. Being in the house, remembering what it was like to take her up against the front door, on the bed, in the shower, he couldn’t help how hard he got.

  “We need to talk about tonight. There was a lot said and just about as much not said,” he said.

  As much as he loved holding her to him, he didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. He was serious about not asking to stay over because he wanted sex. He couldn’t deny what his body said without words.

  Turning her with his hands at her hips, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Was he the biggest idiot in the world for not touching her like this in weeks? Months?

  There wasn’t a need to answer those questions. He knew what an idiot he was. Standing there being her Russian bulldog made things clearer than he’d ever seen them.

  “Is Kevin right? Would us getting married help you?”

  Vasily tried to put on a pleasant smile, but that wasn’t the topic he thought they’d start out with. While he hadn’t been surprised that Kevin had figured out there was something between Vasily and his mom, he had been stunned when he suggested they get married.

  “I already told you, I’ve got it under control. You’ve told me the only way you’d ever get married, and even though that’s not an issue, I don’t think getting married should be about fear, whether that’s your and Kevin’s fear of George or of me having to leave. I really have been on my best behavior. You and this little one are big motivators.”

  He let his hand reach between them to caress the small swell of her stomach. One of these days, he’d feel his child move, and it was crazy how much that idea excited him.

  “What if I change my mind? What if you don’t need to love me? We could just get married.”

  Her blue eyes were round and large as she looked up to him. There was hope in those eyes. Hope that he’d agree with her. It had only been a few hours since he’d told himself he had to figure out a way to get her down the aisle without love. It had been one of his stupider thoughts, but at that moment it was beside the point.

  “There is one little problem with that. About twenty minutes ago, I realized I do love you.”

  He kept all emotion out of the words, like it was a conversation about the weather. The sky is a little cloudy, but the temperature feels great. Oh yeah, and I love you.

  “What?”

  Vasily laughed. That seemed to be her favorite word at the moment. He had plenty of questions himself, but most of them were things he needed to work out.

  “I love you, Lacey. I should have realized it earlier, but as most of my teammates say, I can be slow on the uptake. Standing in between you and George, I saw things clearly.”

  “I don’t understand. What?”

  Her brow furrowed, and he leaned down to kiss the crinkles. She looked beautiful with any emotion on her face, but the perplexed look was one of his favorites.

  “What part don’t you understand?”

  There was plenty Vasily was still wrapping his head around, even though he felt like a lightbulb had been switched on in his head and things were clearer than they’d been in years. So much had to be figured out, but the base of it all was easy. For whatever reason, he loved her, and now that he knew what the feeling was, he knew he loved her from the moment he saw her.

  “What did George being here clear up?”

  She at least went with an easy-ish question. If she’d started with asking him to explain the whole love part and what it felt like, they’d be there all night.

  “Only that I would throw my career and life away to protect you and the kids.”

  The crinkles in her forehead only deepened. He hadn’t expected her to understand, but part of him hoped he wouldn’t have to explain more.

  “I know I’ve mentioned that I wanted to kill George, but I guess I never understood until tonight that I would do it. It’s not just an idle thought. I would’ve killed George without a single thought of what it would mean if he made one step towards you.”

  “Because of the baby,” she whispered.

  Her eyes wouldn’t meet his. She always fell back on the excuse that whatever he did or didn’t do was because of the baby, but he knew that
wasn’t true. It had never been true, and no matter how many times he tried to explain it to her, she didn’t understand. That was going to change.

  “Do you know what lyubimaya means?”

  Her eyes darted up to his. He smiled, trying to be reassuring. She didn’t know. He already knew that much.

  “It’s the only Russian I’ve ever heard you say.”

  Vasily nodded. “Yeah, when I moved here, I wanted to fit in, so I learned English, but learning has never been my thing and I had trouble. I figured if I stuck only to English, I’d get better, and I have.”

  “But you say that one word to me almost every day.”

  “And now I’ll probably add Ya tebya lyublyu.”

  He let his emotions drip with every word. He of course had said the words to his mother, but he never meant them as much as he did with Lacey. And he’d never uttered them with another woman. He wasn’t the kind of guy that threw words of love around.

  “What’s that mean?”

  “Exactly what I’ve been saying. I love you. When we met in the bar, I let lyubimaya slip because I couldn’t think of the English word I wanted to call you. None of them felt right, so I went with something I could understand.”

  “And what does it mean? I’ve tried to look it up, but I don’t think I’m spelling it right.”

  Vasily laughed. Since it sounded foreign coming out of his mouth even to his ears, he didn’t doubt she had trouble spelling it. It was no surprise that she’d tried.

  “I equate it to meaning like darling or my love.” He paused to think about it. “I guess I know those words in English, but they just don’t sound right when I think about you.”

  She stared at him for a long time. He couldn’t blame her, because it felt like he was babbling. He’d never had to explain feelings.