Penalty Kill (Love on Thin Ice Book 4) Read online

  “We’ve only talked about how I would prefer you stay miles away from your ex, but we haven’t really talked about the kids.” Vasily’s hands were on Lacey’s hips, digging into them a little more than necessary, so he loosened his hold. “They obviously know he’s going to be there tonight. Neither have mentioned seeing George to me, but I guess it might not be something they’d talk to me about.”

  “You’re worried about my kids?”

  He’d just said as much, so her questioning seemed off. Half of the things he said seemed to confound her. He knew why. She wasn’t used to having someone as a partner care, about anything.

  “Of course I am. I know you said he didn’t hurt them, but we both know there are other ways than physically hurting someone. Everyone says Kevin and Rachel have changed in the last few months, apparently for the better, and I’d hate to see something revert that or make it worse.”

  How could she think differently? She shook her head again, something she did far too often during their conversations.

  “I’m never going to understand you, am I?” she asked, then sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

  “Do you need to?”

  It was meant rhetorically, because Vasily didn’t understand himself most days. It was clear he’d gone through some mental change, but it wasn’t something he could explain. All he knew was something about her made him want to do crazy things.

  “Not right now, but there is one thing you need to understand,” Lacey mumbled into his neck. “I know you keep talking about getting married, but chances are it won’t happen. I promised myself that I would never marry again unless I knew a man was in love with me. And after thinking George was all those years, I don’t think I’ll ever trust myself to believe it.”

  It was hard to give any response to that. He understood where she was coming from, and she’d said as much, or at least he comprehended that was where her reluctance came from. That’s why he hadn’t pushed. One of them had to change in order for the future he saw between them to become a reality.

  She didn’t trust a man to love her, and he didn’t want to believe in love. He’d seen or heard about too many cases of love turn out how her first marriage had. He had to convince her that his desire to protect and make her happy would be enough. That he wanted to be in her life, not just because of the baby, but because she made him feel something. And whatever that was, he wanted to explore it. He didn’t fool himself and think it was love. It just was, and eventually she had to be okay with that.

  Vasily nodded his head. They understood each other, so there wasn’t anything else he needed to do or say.

  Chapter 19

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your kids glued to a game like this,” Hannah whispered in Lacey’s ear.

  Her friend had leaned over and went so far as to wrap her hand around the edge of her mouth where it was an inch or so from Lacey’s ear to relay the information. Lacey didn’t need someone to tell her that. She’d kept a close eye on her kids since they settled in their seats in the front row of the suite.

  Rachel kept waving down at the ice during warm-ups, and Lacey saw that twice Vasily waved back. When he saw her tactic was working, Kevin even joined in. Lacey couldn’t remember the last time they were so excited about anything, let alone a hockey game.

  They’d been to plenty of them before to watch their dad. Maybe the first few games when they were four or five seemed special, but George had never taken the time to acknowledge their existence like Vasily had. Thankfully, her ex-husband wasn’t on the ice to see the exchange.

  Lacey had watched for him making his way out from the visitor’s locker room. Her breath had held in her chest as she waited to see what emotion welled inside of her. The anticipation and lack of any fulfillment left Lacey’s stomach tense and prickly. It didn’t help to see the kids’ eyes glued to every move Vasily made, as Hannah was nice enough to point out.

  “I think I’m going to head to the bathroom,” Lacey said as she stood up.

  She needed a break and had no desire to answer the questions she knew her friends had on the tips of their tongues. By now, they all knew she was pregnant, and thankfully no one had jumped in with congratulations or questions about the baby, and its father. She was a little surprised they’d shown any restraint.

  Hannah gave her a knowing look as she stood to let Lacey out of their row. Lacey almost wished she’d caved to Vasily’s desire for her to stay home. Seeing the kids react the way they did, she knew she’d made the right move. For now, Vasily was interested in them, and her. She didn’t count on it continuing forever, but as long as it did, she wanted to give them the life they should’ve had if their father had cared about more than whatever mistress he had waiting for him.

  The bathroom wasn’t far from Nina’s suite. If it had been, Nina would’ve had one built closer. As it was, the bathroom had gone over a transformation after Nina bought the team.

  The normal commercial tiles that lined every other bathroom in the arena had fixated to the walls were replaced with marble. Green and black marble tiled the floor and walls. The marble was the first thing a person saw when they walked in. In typical Nina fashion, it overwhelmed a person.

  If a visitor dragged their eyes away from that scene, there were plenty of gold fixtures in the form of faucets, soap dispensers and levers on the toilets. As far as Lacey was concerned, it was a bathroom used maybe a few nights a week by only people Nina deemed worthy. Spending thousands of dollars on a place Lacey wasn’t sure Nina had ever actually used seemed like a waste of money.

  Lacey finished drying her hands in a soft white cotton towel that was embellished with a gold-threaded design. The cotton was probably Egyptian or something, judging by the flower petal softness.

  After tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she offered herself a small smile in the mirror. It’d been so long since her smiles were sincere. She was still getting used to the fact that for the last month or so, there were times she didn’t have to fake being happy.

  That thought was in her mind as she left the bathroom and made her way back to the suite. She hadn’t heard any obnoxious goal buzzers or cheers from the crowd, so it didn’t sound like she’d missed anything.

  She made it only a few steps outside of the bathroom before her feet shuffled to a stop. The emotion she’d wondered about earlier instantly came to her mind.

  Fear. Pure, intense fear snaked through her body as she came face to face with her ex-husband.

  “George.”

  The one word shared the turmoil she felt going through her. Lacey would’ve loved to kick herself for letting him see what he caused. She was too busy keeping herself from reaching for her stomach to fight with her tone. He could know she was afraid, but he couldn’t find out she was pregnant.

  “Lacey,” he said with a nod and smile. His blue eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. “It’s been way too long since we’ve talked. Since the coach sat me out, evidently for my own safety, I thought we could use the time to catch up.”

  She let her eyes drift down, taking in his custom suit. The black fabric shimmered in the light as it molded against his muscular frame. There was a time the look would’ve swept her away, or as swept away as she’d gotten before Vasily. It was impossible not to compare what she felt for the two men.

  How could she not have seen it before? There were no flutters making her stomach anxious in a way that warmed her whole body. There had never been. She knew George was good-looking. She watched women over the years rake their eyes up and down him, looking like they wanted to take a bite out of him. But, she’d never felt the sensation.

  She’d married him because she’d gotten pregnant and she didn’t think she could do better. He claimed to love her, and that was enough.

  By the time she focused back on his face, she realized the mistake she’d made. Taking in his appearance gave him time to do the same. His lips pursed slightly as he tsked and shook his head.

  “I’ve b
een worried about how you took the divorce. You hit those lemon cookies you love a little hard, don’t you think?”

  The fear causing her immobilization, took a hit with those words. That small piece of it was filled with equal parts anger and relief. He’d paid close attention to her body over the years, even when he refused to touch it. Whether he wanted her for sex or not, his wife had to look a certain way.

  The eight pounds wasn’t something anyone else mentioned, whether they noticed it or not. It wasn’t surprising that it was the first thing George noticed.

  “What do you want, George?”

  Her anger won out over the fear as she bit out the words. She didn’t mind him deciding she was fat. It was better than the alternative. But thinking of the alternative reminded her that she couldn’t let him intimidate her. She had a secret she needed to protect from him.

  His smile grew wider. He took a step forward, which caused her to take two back.

  The man was a predator in a totally different way than Vasily. While Vasily drew you in with the charm and sex appeal that rolled off him, George was more like a lion getting ready to pounce on a baby giraffe. And Lacey had thought her giraffe days were over.

  “Please don’t come any closer.”

  She held out her arm as a shield. The chances of it or her words helping weren’t great, but she didn’t have a giant bubble she could deploy to keep her safe.

  Lacey expected him to ignore her request, but he stopped. The smile didn’t leave his face, but she saw something odd flicker in his eyes. She’d spent over a decade living with the man and she’d never seen that particular look. With that in mind, she hated to define it. If forced, she’d go with something akin to contrite.

  “I completely understand your reluctance. We didn’t exactly leave things on friendly terms, but I want to make that up to you.”

  The total lack of any of the usual harshness in his voice scared Lacey. He’d already insulted her. Why was he holding back?

  “You really think you can make up what you did? You abandoned your kids.”

  She tried to keep eye contact. She really did. The pain was too much, though, so she found herself looking at his thick nose. There was so much he’d done, but she didn’t want to mention the baby. She didn’t want him getting any alternative ideas about why she’d gained weight.

  “I was an asshole. A complete jackass of epic proportions. I’m well aware of that and know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want to try to earn it.”

  Her eyes widened and dared to look up to his. Why did they seem to hold some sincerity? She couldn’t remember the last time his blue eyes didn’t hold anger or lies, or at least some level of shadiness.

  “I’d ask if you’ve been drinking, but I know you haven’t.”

  She searched his eyes. A smile edged them at her words. It wasn’t only his words and expression that made her think he hadn’t been drinking. Even though he wasn’t playing, he was basically an ambassador for the team. That meant he was supposed to be on his best behavior.

  Best was a relative word, but as far as she knew, the drinking and picking up of his girlfriends happened after the game. There hadn’t been too many games he’d missed over the years, and she’d been to almost every game. Whatever trouble he found over the years, she didn’t think it came from the arena.

  “I know it’s hard to believe, but I really have missed you, gummi bear.”

  He moved again. This time Lacey was so shocked by his use of the nickname that she didn’t back away. The touch of his hand against her cheek shook her out of her stupor. She jerked away as her skin felt scalded under his touch.

  When Vasily touched her she felt heat, but it was a welcome heat. The near pain she felt at George’s touch was anything but welcome. Even with his hand gone, it felt like her skin puckered into a hand-shaped print.

  “Isn’t it a little hard to miss me with your new wife and kid?”

  Lacey hadn’t been paying close attention to George’s season so far, but she wondered if he’d taken more blows than usual to the head. She’d expected him to come into town for the game and leave without saying a word, and instead he was acting… well, she really didn’t have a word for however he was acting.

  George scoffed, and for the first time since she found him lurking in the hall, she saw the glimpse of anger she was used to in his eyes. They darkened before he schooled them to be a little softer. The expression looked almost bitter.

  “I’m currently not married and the only kids I have are sitting in the suite over there.”

  His hand reached out again to touch her face. Again, she was lost in what he said, so she didn’t think in time to stop him. Her face still felt the hand from before, making the second touch not as scalding. It still wasn’t comfortable.

  “Please don’t touch me,” she said.

  She had questions about what he’d said but getting him a safer distance away seemed more prudent. The way his eyes squinted told her she was smart for not just pulling away and making the distance herself. She doubted he’d do as she asked, but if she’d made the space between them, he would’ve done more than the gentle touches.

  When George thought things should be a certain way, he got it. Lacey had no idea what was going through his head, but she knew it didn’t bode well for her sanity.

  “I told you I missed you, Lacey. I’m sorry for what I did, but I see the error. I want you and the kids to move to L.A. with me.”

  Had she fallen asleep on the toilet? That would’ve definitely been the weirdest place she’d ever fallen asleep, but it had to be a dream. Lacey would’ve preferred it be like any of her other recent dreams. They all included Vasily and her without a thread of clothing.

  That was a fantasy she woke up happy from. Whatever was going on with George, well, that was currently her worst nightmare.

  She stared at him, letting every ounce of shock she had in her show clearly in her eyes. Even in the nightmares she had of him after she lost the baby, he had never acted like he wanted them to get back together. He hadn’t specifically said that, but the touch and bringing up the move made her think that was the direction his thoughts were going.

  And that idea terrified her more than anything else.

  It wasn’t like she’d agree to it. There was no way in hell she would ever get back with George, whether she was pregnant with another man’s baby or not.

  But, George wasn’t known for listening to words. His head told him to do something and he did it. Not a lot of thought went into his actions, something she’d sadly learned firsthand. She couldn’t understand why he’d decided he wanted her and the kids back in his life. She didn’t really want to know but keeping him talking seemed like the best move.

  “What are you talking about?”

  She hoped she’d heard him wrong, because she was fairly certain she hadn’t really fallen asleep. Why would he even think it was possible for them to have any kind of a relationship. Keeping her anger out of her words was hard, but she managed to make it sound more confused than anything else.

  Before he could answer, the horn went off calling the end of the period. The noise made her jump, finally removing his hand that lingered on her skin. She took the interruption to step back three steps while he watched as people started pouring out of the suites around them. Lacey usually hated crowds, but she’d never been happier to see handfuls of people.

  George eyed the people. Since the access to the suites was limited, there weren’t as many people as there were on the main concourses, but thirty or forty was more than enough for someone’s attention to turn in their direction. If they were real fans, and not just there for some business networking, they might recognize George.

  The way he turned his body away from the crowd told Lacey he didn’t want that. It surprised her a little, but he was on the other side of the ice now. There was a time he’d eat up all the attention, whether the fans were for him or not.

  “Look,” he said, closing the space
she’d gained. “We can’t really talk now, so I’ll stop over after the game. I assume the kids will still be awake, and I’d like to at least say hi before they go to bed.”

  Being lost to shock didn’t usually dull Lacey’s sense of her surrounding, but she froze hearing those words. She barely registered him kissing her cheek before he disappeared. It took snapping fingers to finally bring her out of her stupor. By the time that happened, the scene around her had completely changed.

  There were still people walking in the sort of hallway around her, but George had been replaced by Hannah, who had a look on her face that mixed concern and anger perfectly. Lacey’s chest burned slightly but letting out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding relieved some of the pain.

  “Please tell me that wasn’t who I think it was.”

  Hannah’s eyes drifted to the right, where Lacey assumed George had slinked off. Of course, slinking was only what Lacey hoped he’d done. George had an air around him that made the word a joke in comparison to him.

  “It looked like him, but the words coming out of his mouth made no sense. He…”

  Lacey tried to come up with the right words to share what in the world had just happened, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to think about what he’d said.

  “He?” Hannah prodded when it became clear Lacey wasn’t going to finish.

  “Let’s just say, I’m pretty sure Vasily is going to be spending the night.”

  She hadn’t thought about that, or what his answer would be if she asked him. The words just came out. She wished Vasily was there with her, able to hold her so she could shake the feeling of dread spreading through her. Hours stood between her and any sense of calm. Hopefully, she could make it through the time without having a nervous breakdown.

  Chapter 20

  “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Vasily cursed as he hit his steering wheel with each utterance.

  It had taken him too long to get to his phone after the game and see Lacey's message. He'd been pissed when he found out George was a scratch for the game but knowing the dipshit had spoken to Lacey made that anger turn to something much darker. The worst part was he didn't know what was said, just that it was bad enough Lacey felt she needed to insist he hurry home. Vasily didn't even have a chance to let her word choice sink in.